these days, it seems like I have a never ending swirl of chaotic thoughts fighting each other for my undivided attention. it has officially gotten to the point where I am losing sleep because I have so much going on in my head.
"you graduate in May, what are you going to do? where are you going to teach? should you come interview during the semester, or just submit my application and hope for the best? how can you maintain a job while student teaching? when will i sleep? boy, I should really start working out again. you should go see your work kids today... what should I wear today? or tomorrow? where did all my clothes even go? where's _______? why haven't I seen them in forever? makeup... no makeup... do I wear this too much? what would my mom and dad do if they were in this situation? naturally its the holiday season.. how many people are going to ask if I'm still single?"
it just doesn't seem to stop. whether it is something that really requires my attention, or something that just has to do with where I'm standing in that moment... it seems like I don't really have any answers to any of my questions. sure, this seems petty, but for someone that has always known what was going on in their life, someone that has always had a plan and someone that really doesn't like surprises.... well, now you see my dilemma. I'm getting a full, frontal attack from my own thoughts.
so, in short, this is simply to reassure you that you are not alone in NOT knowing what is going on around you, or even in your own life. stop stressing about things that you ultimately have no control over. you are only going to bring harm to yourself by overthinking, overanalyzing and overreacting.
times like these, its best to just sit back and enjoy the ride. even if you don't know where its going to take you.
