lent, migraines and soda withdrawals

well, the title says it all. for lent this year, i said adios to soda. no more till easter, 40 days of migraines. honestly, a little advil and three days, the headaches ease up. it isn't that bad after a while and drinking other beverages just becomes habit. i don't even think about it after a while. 

today i had a conversation with my friend, Alyssa. she made a good point when she said that people forget the point of lent. we do, myself included. the point of giving up something for lent is to use that time to pray, or talk to God in any way when you realize what you've given up. that didn't make sense, so allow me to give an example. when i remember that i can't have soda, i should use that time frame to say a prayer, read a chapter in my Bible, etc. that is the point of giving up something. others have done it as a test to see how much will power they have, or to see how long they can go as a contest with others. the real point is to spend more time with God. 

i think we all need to practice this more. i know i have brushed it off because i have been busy or just didn't want to devote that time to getting closer to God, but in all honesty, you can never spend too much time with God. 

carpe diem.

carpe diem. giving little thought to the future, living life to it's fullest in the present. this is something that i have not quite mastered myself, but i aspire to be able to think like this without trying. i want this to become a way of life, a permanent mind set for me.

i'm a worrier. if someone is late, i automatically jump to conclusions. if something isn't quite right, i panic. if there is something missing, it consumes my every thought. i don't try to do these things, it just happens. i wish i could turn it off, but when i try, i make things a tad bit worse.

my dad sent me this phrase in a text one day. i then spent the day trying to figure out how i could change my thought process to make sure i incorporated this saying into everything. as of now, i'm still working on it, but i'm progressing. it's a learning process. every day, a little more.

schedule

sleep
classes
lunch
work
dinner
homework
volleyball
study
sleep
(repeat)

i have been consumed by all things college. hence, the lack of posts. and i am kicking myself for not being able to write anything because i have so much homework. but, today, i have managed to finish all that is due tomorrow by 3pm. so, here is an update on life.

i'm going to texas with some of my best friends next weekend. words cannot describe how much i am looking forward to going. just a weekend away to do nothing but have fun. no worries, no nothing. just some much needed bonding time!

i'm really enjoying school, even though all my profs decided they hate me and piled on homework in EVERY class at the same time. it's great. i had kids this weekend asking me why i liked it, why i didn't go to MNU because it's so close to home! why travel five hours to come to SNU? my answer was simply this: the community. the family. the sense of belonging you get the first time you set foot on campus. the amount of caring and effort people put into knowing you, helping you and making sure you succeed. it outweighs anything i could have had at MNU. not to mention, as much as it saddens my parents, i am moving on to being on my own. if i was at MNU, that wouldn't have happened. i would go home far too frequently. being on my own is nice. learning to say no, to prioritize. it's a process, but it's a process i'm super happy to be a part of.

class is canceled.

sheer joy and relief overtakes your entire being when you find out you have a class canceled. even if it's a class you enjoy going to, you still get that i-get-to-sleep-in feeling. if you go to bed at a decent hour, or you're up late doing homework, you still look forward to not having to wake up, or being able to go to class and come back and sleep for the amount of time you would have had your next class. there's nothing quite like knowing that you don't have to finish your homework, or if it is already done, you get some extra time to go over it and make sure it's perfect.

regardless of how much you pay for school, how much time you put into a class or how much you enjoy it, you will always be willing to not go. i promise you that much.

ping pong

welcome to college. we play ping ping here. religiously. all the time. every day. whether we have homework or not. even if you don't want to play.

next thing you know, we'll be offering ping pong scholarships. that would be nice. i would like that. but as for now, it's a current past time for all students across campus. there has even been a table placed in the first floor lobby of Hills due to the ping pong craze. the paddles suck, and people tear them up. balls go missing like bobby pins do for girls. it's insane how much this school has put into playing. but i'm happy about it.

i surprised some people today because i played for the first time down in Pops. a few friends were in awe because i have always told them that i don't want to play because i'm not very good. i lied. i have a table at home.. i don't play much, but when i do, i play for weeks straight. i've gotten pretty good. just need some time to warm up before each game. i like people being shocked at skills i possess. makes life more entertaining for me, and just makes for a fun game because they don't know what they're getting themselves into. granted, i'm nowhere near the best. not even close. but i'm good. it probably helps that i have a tennis background, so the forehand and backhand come naturally. i use this to my advantage.

needless to say, i've found something to do with my free time.

raddest party ever.

well, it's valentine's day. again. this is the second one that our family has had without our beloved Poppy. however, i can honestly say that i'm glad. he is in a much better place and pain free. we will all be together again someday!

as for the rest of the day, everyone is happy. people received flowers, candy and were showered in goods and love from fellow students and loved ones. i have never seen so much love in one spot. i've decided to overlook the bitterness of being single and embrace the loving friendships i have with so many wonderful people. today has, without a doubt, been one of the best valentine's days i have ever had. especially at dinner. Qdoba with six wonderful people and the best time i've had in a while.

valentine's day isn't just about being with the one you love. it's about sharing the love with everyone around you. no point in being bitter or mopey. remember, happy girls are the prettiest. (Audrey Hepburn)

weight

there are a few friends of mine on campus that feel as though they need to lose a large amount of weight. however, they are going about doing so in all the wrong ways. 

exercising twice a day, every day when they never used to work out. cutting all foods that aren't salad and fruit. making sure that they don't eat anything "unhealthy". i have stressed to them that there are healthier ways to go about losing and maintaining a healthy weight. unfortunately, cutting carbs and calories cold turkey doesn't work. and exercising so often when you never used to work out at all, is NOT the way to go about losing weight. 

you need to start slow and build up to where you would like to be. you need to start out slow, not jump right in to running four miles. your body is not used to that kind of work. also, you can slowly monitor your calories and such slowly and steadily. work your way up to where you would like to be. it's a process. 

personally, i believe you can eat anything you want... in moderation. you can still have dessert, just smaller amounts. you can still eat a hamburger, just slow down while you're eating so your stomach has time to realize that it's full. if you are eating something that uses utensils, put them down between bites. it gives your stomach time to realize that it is full, causing you to eat less. don't eat seconds at meals and don't over eat. know when to stop. just because it looks tasty and you like it, doesn't mean you need three platefuls. 

honestly, i'm tired of people complaining because they aren't losing weight when they just jump into a diet. you're starving your body. it will over compensate for the lack of food and store more fat because it doesn't know when you will be eating a full meal again. so, moral of the story, you see more results and are healthier if you work yourself up to where you want to be. eating healthy and exercising are key ways to see results, but there are certain ways you need to go about doing so to maintain a healthy weight. 

update

my cousin seems to be doing better. she's progressively being teken off the drain to her brain. however, she hasn't been sleeping very much. due to the lack of sleep, she is anxious and doesn't seem to be handling things well. she said to my aunt and her fiance that she didn't have any friends and that just breaks my heart.

in a time of need, she believes no one is there for her. i don't like that she even had this thought. it hurts me to think of how much she is going through, and thinking that she is all alone.

if we could all just keep her in our prayers, i would greatly appreciate it. i believe in the power of prayer. i've seen it work in lives before, now i just want it to work for her.

LOUD

it's no secret that i am an extremely loud person. it's almost a trademark. it's expected and when i'm not loud and obnoxious, outgoing and being my normal self, people start to assume something is terribly wrong. that is not always the case. i know it sounds absurd, but i CAN be quiet when i want to be and i think that terrifies people. it's not normal, it's not expected. some people that just met me when school started have legitimately thought that something was terribly wrong when i was quiet for the first time around them. they played twenty questions to figure out what was bothering me, they asked around to see if i had mentioned a problem to someone else. it worries them.

every now and then, it's nice to just be quiet. to sit back and watch life happen. sometimes we need a break from people to collect our own thoughts and regroup. no one is capable of going on forever without a break. no one can stay completely sane when surrounded by tons of people 24/7. it's just not possible. the more i'm with people, the more i realize this. as bad as it sounds, i do need a break from my friends. i love them dearly, but there are times that just call for me time. i have also realized that everyone feels like this periodically. a few of my friends have been this way this week. we get overwhelmed and need time to figure things out. something doesn't go the way we had originally planned, so we need to take the time to pause and figure out what is to come. you can't live forever on a whim.

i have noticed in my own life that the more i spend time with the same people, the more reserved i become. the more i hold back and keep to myself. mixing it up is a necessity. you can spend every day with someone when you're married. as for now, enjoy life and be with everyone. don't give all of your attention to just one person right now. it won't help you in the long run. i'm not saying you can't have a friend that you spend more time with then others, but i am suggesting that you divide the attention. share the love with all the people you care about and devote your time to getting to know more people or investing yourself in relationships that have struggled because you focused solely on that one person. take the time to be quiet and figure out what is required of you to succeed in life.

be quiet. listen. listen to your own thoughts. listen to those around you. listen to God. life isn't always about being heard. sometimes others need to be heard and you're just there to be a set of listening ears, with an open heart and open mind.

valentines day

alright, first of all, who the heck decided to make this a holiday? if you need a holiday for your man (boyfriend, fiance, husband, whatever he may be) to buy you flowers or take you to dinner, then you deserve a better man. someone who does those things for you without being told. someone who treats you like a princess 24/7.

second of all, banks are closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Labor Day, etc. banks are still open on valentines day. therefore, by default, it is not a true holiday. its a hallmark holiday. they tell you that you need to buy gifts, cards and candy and y'all fall for it. suckers. no need to empty your pockets on the stereotypical day to do so. why not surprise her? send her flowers when she least expects it! on valentines day, you're expected to do something romantic and that makes it less romantic. spur of the moment is much more respectable then doing something when you're SUPPOSED to do it. be original.

now, for all the single people out there. don't be bitter. get a group of friends together and go do something fun! there is no reason to mope around because you don't have that significant other to spend time with. make the most of your single-ness and enjoy yourself!

also, i apologize to those that read this regularly and were expecting posts. i was a host this weekend for an event on campus and had four wonderful girls visiting and staying in my room. needless to say, i was not home for very long. not long enough to write a post anyways! now they can be expected regularly because i am now back on schedule with everything i blew off for this weekend.

"awkward" moments

hi <-- thank you jake metcalf.

we have all experienced our fair share of awkward moments. some being purposeful, some accidental, others... well you just can't avoid them. i've noticed that they are fewer and further between when i'm NOT at school. here, we're all awkward.

having people watch you while you put on your chapstick.
dropping utensils/plates/cups in the Ho.
making an utter fool of yourself playing ping pong in Pops.
walking into the wrong class because it's monday, and you thought it wasn't.
you're the only two people in a lobby and an elevator full of people opens up. no one gets off.
that moment when you have to readjust your own drivers seat because someone else drove your car.

the list goes on and on. college life is just plain awkward. but for this, i am thankful. it provides entertainment. it provides an out for those moments that you just can't explain without shouting about how awkward it was. these moments have become so enjoyable that you actually find yourself looking for them. you meet so many more people when you embrace the awkward series of events that occur in college. i never would have met Zach Smith if it weren't for him walking through the lobby when i'm sitting out there EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes up.

with that being said, the awkward moments i have experienced have hands down been some of the best. i've met new people, had great stories to tell and really made my college career (thus far) ten times better.