LOUD

it's no secret that i am an extremely loud person. it's almost a trademark. it's expected and when i'm not loud and obnoxious, outgoing and being my normal self, people start to assume something is terribly wrong. that is not always the case. i know it sounds absurd, but i CAN be quiet when i want to be and i think that terrifies people. it's not normal, it's not expected. some people that just met me when school started have legitimately thought that something was terribly wrong when i was quiet for the first time around them. they played twenty questions to figure out what was bothering me, they asked around to see if i had mentioned a problem to someone else. it worries them.

every now and then, it's nice to just be quiet. to sit back and watch life happen. sometimes we need a break from people to collect our own thoughts and regroup. no one is capable of going on forever without a break. no one can stay completely sane when surrounded by tons of people 24/7. it's just not possible. the more i'm with people, the more i realize this. as bad as it sounds, i do need a break from my friends. i love them dearly, but there are times that just call for me time. i have also realized that everyone feels like this periodically. a few of my friends have been this way this week. we get overwhelmed and need time to figure things out. something doesn't go the way we had originally planned, so we need to take the time to pause and figure out what is to come. you can't live forever on a whim.

i have noticed in my own life that the more i spend time with the same people, the more reserved i become. the more i hold back and keep to myself. mixing it up is a necessity. you can spend every day with someone when you're married. as for now, enjoy life and be with everyone. don't give all of your attention to just one person right now. it won't help you in the long run. i'm not saying you can't have a friend that you spend more time with then others, but i am suggesting that you divide the attention. share the love with all the people you care about and devote your time to getting to know more people or investing yourself in relationships that have struggled because you focused solely on that one person. take the time to be quiet and figure out what is required of you to succeed in life.

be quiet. listen. listen to your own thoughts. listen to those around you. listen to God. life isn't always about being heard. sometimes others need to be heard and you're just there to be a set of listening ears, with an open heart and open mind.