slap to the face

before i start, no i didn't slap anyone nor did i get slapped. just a disclaimer.

everyone has those moments when God metaphorically slaps you in the face to get your attention. i had one of those moments tonight, thanks to a couple really good friends of mine. it was brought to my attention that what is meant to be, will be. i can't change the way things are supposed to work. i can't make someone do something that doesn't seem to be in the books for them. situations like this remind me of the move Bruce Almighty, when he learns that you cannot change free will. you can't. it's as simple as that.

whether it has to do with friends, siblings (or family in general), dating... you can't make someone change their mind. no matter how much you want them to, or how much you try, you cannot mess with free will. as awful as that seems, it's actually quite beneficial. you strengthen yourself: heart, mind and soul. you learn more about yourself as a person than you ever thought possible. you may not end up with the results that you were wanting, but you end up with what was meant to be.

if something is meant to be, it will happen eventually. regardless of how much you try to influence the situation, if it isn't meant to be, there is no hope and you are wasting your time and energy. not to say that the person or cause isn't worth it, it's just not right for you.

it's the same in relationships. from friends, to more than friends. if it's meant to be more, there will come a time when you both know it and it will be great. if not, why waste a friendship? have an open mind and make your friendship even stronger. just because it wasn't "meant to be" in the dating sense of the phrase, doesn't meant that y'all can't be even closer friends. who knows, maybe that's where you're both supposed to be.

i often find myself asking God why. why would He put us through such heartache and anguish if there was no point? if it's not meant to be, why give us the opportunity to feel that there is a chance? it's simple. not everything is meant to work. not everything will go your way just because you would like it too. God is teaching lessons. this one being that you need to teach yourself how to control your emotions. it's still okay to feel hurt, to be upset. don't take this as a "suck it up, rub some dirt on it" kind of message. you need to be able to pull back on the reigns and figure out what is truly worth it. if you don't learn how, you will put yourself through endless suffering, not only in relationships, but in all other events in your lives. it teaches us to grow as people. it may even end up giving you the best friendships of your life.

it's good to have your sights set on something. you just need to know when to draw the line between determination and desperation.